Node 02.01 · tension pattern
Perfectionism
A demand to get it flawless — so strict that the work either drags on or never starts at all.
How it shows up
- “Good” feels like “not good enough”, and “excellent” feels like the baseline.
- Small details take as much effort as the main thing.
- Praise doesn't land: you only notice what could have been better.
- You postpone the work because conditions aren't right to do it perfectly.
Where it usually comes from
A high bar is useful in itself; perfectionism starts where your sense of worth is tied to a flawless result. Then a mistake is not information but a verdict, and it's safer not to finish — or not to start. The rule often forms where love or approval came in exchange for achievement.
What it costs
Work goes slower, the joy of finishing barely comes, and fatigue piles up — every task passes through a strict inner inspection. Many good ideas never see daylight.
Try this weekPick one task this week and define “good enough” in advance — three concrete criteria. When they're met, stop, even if you want to keep polishing. Write down what actually happened.